What Are Common Mistakes to Avoid During a Custody Battle?

If you’re going through a divorce, you know that child custody is one of the most contentious issues. A child custody lawyer here in Houston, TX can help you to avoid making some of the worst mistakes that can harm your case when you’re locked in a custody battle with the other parent.

What Are Common Mistakes to Avoid During a Custody Battle?

1. Not Getting a Houston, TX Custody Lawyer

This is a simple mistake but can be a devastating one. Many parents assume that because they are a good parent and have a good relationship with their child, it will be easy for the court to see this, and there thus should be no issues in their custody battle.

Unfortunately, many of these parents underestimate the lengths to which the other parent is willing to go in order to “get revenge” or simply make life as difficult as possible. In a worst-case scenario, the other parent may make up lies of all kinds to influence the court. In other cases, they may simply manipulate the existing evidence so that it only presents one side of the situation.

Having a custody lawyer on your side protects you from an unscrupulous ex spouse.

2. Sparring With the Other Parent

If you have a contentious relationship with your former spouse, it can be easy to get into verbal altercations, especially if they’re provoking you. But if you really want to keep custody of your children and show the court that you are the fit parent, it’s very important to do everything possible to keep your temper in check.

It’s even more important not to get into any physical altercations.

A verbal altercation is bad enough, and the court will look unfavorably on a parent in that situation. But it’s much worse when things get physical. Not only might you lose the custody battle, but you could even face charges for abuse or have a restraining order taken out against you. If the other parent gets physical with you, call the police and talk with your lawyer immediately about getting a restraining order.

3. Badmouthing the Other Parent

Whenever you talk about the other parent with others, and especially in front of the children, avoid saying anything negative about them. The wise course of action when you’re in the midst of a custody dispute is to assume that anything you say will make it back to the court somehow.

Even if you’re talking to close friends or family members, you just never know. Even if you completely trust the person you are speaking to, you also have no way of knowing whether they might be called up to testify in court and put under oath. Under oath, they have to tell the truth, even if it hurts you.

And be careful when you’re in discussions with your ex-spouse and their attorney that you don’t say anything you might regret later about the other parent. Your own attorney should always be with you for these meetings to help protect you.

Remember that social media is never private, either, even if you have privacy settings turned on. It’s very easy for someone to find what you’ve said, screen grab it, and then have it show up in the courtroom.

4. Deny Contact With Their Other Parent

Whenever two people are in the midst of a contentious divorce, it becomes tempting to use the children against the other parent in some way. One way this can sometimes happen is by trying to deny the children contact with an ex. Bear in mind that unless there is an actual court order forbidding contact, you do not have any legal right to do this.

Trying to deny the children contact with their other parent is only going to make things bad for you and harm your custody battle case. It looks bad, it breaks the law, and it gives your ex something to use against you.

Now, it should go without saying that if your ex is a physical danger to the children, you should protect your children. But you do this by calling the police if there is an immediate emergency and otherwise talking to your lawyer about getting a restraining order or other temporary orders that can restrict the other parent’s access until the court can do a full hearing. If your ex is not a physical danger to the children but is harming them emotionally, start keeping records, right now.

Write down what the children tell you, contact any witnesses who have seen emotional manipulation or harm, and talk to your lawyer right away.

5. Get Into Altercations with Your Children

A custody battle is all about who can best take care of the children, so don’t do anything to jeopardize that. Remember that it’s very likely the court will appoint someone to evaluate your home situation and interview your children. Children will say almost anything, and even if you thought a little back-and-forth with a child was no big deal, your child might have felt very strongly about it and might bring it up when interviewed.

Without context, an altercation of the sort can seem serious to the interviewer.

Obviously, you want to avoid major bad behaviors, like getting into an argument or causing any physical harm to your children, but be aware that even a minor altercation can get blown out of proportion during this delicate time. This doesn’t mean you should withdraw all discipline and let your child do whatever they want so they won’t badmouth you. But it does mean that all your discipline must be specifically for the good of your child and never out of anger or frustration on your part.

Whenever you are overly stressed or emotional, remember that is not the time to talk to your child about an issue. Whenever it’s possible and good for your child, just let something go.

6. Travel Without Notification

Even if you’re taking a day trip within the state, you need to let the other parent know if you’re taking the children somewhere outside their usual routine. No matter how short the holiday might be, you never know how the other parent is going to react.

If they can’t reach you or the kids when they expect to, they may panic and assume that you are kidnapping the children. Even if they don’t honestly suspect that themselves, they may try to blow the incident out of proportion in order to make you look dangerous and unpredictable in front of the court.

Now is especially not the time to take the kids on any extended trips out of state without permission from the court and advance planning.

There is no single, foolproof way to guarantee that you will have custody of your children or win a custody battle. But there are many things you can do to show the court that you are a trustworthy and fit parent.

It starts with getting a good lawyer on your side as soon as possible: a lawyer who can help you avoid making these mistakes, and others. Contact The Clark Law Firm, P.C. in Houston, TX now for help.